The Beauty of Patience

Modern life is filled with advertisements. While you may think that you recognize the ads in your life, I disagree. Sure, there are the easy-to-identify ads that we see throughout the day: the banner ads on websites, the suggested search results on Google trying to get you to buy something (it used to be that Google helped you learn about something, but now it seems intent on helping you get to the checkout screen), the ads that play before your video starts. But I am talking about the harder-to-identify ads. With the constant contact that we are afforded by this social media-obsessed world, we are bombarded by a constant stream of micro-influencers. You’ve heard the saying “you didn’t know you needed this until you saw it.” Well, today you can’t help but see it. We see or hear about the things our friends and family do, and we think that would be cool. We never stop to think, do I really want to do that or am I just jealous that they are getting to do something while I am sitting here at my boring job? To know oneself is very difficult; it requires conscious reflection and for us to take a second to think, even when the world is telling us to keep moving.

But why is this bothering you today, you might ask. Well, my cousin wants to come visit, which is great, but the timing could not be worse. She is turning 21 and, like all other 21-year-olds, is ready to start her life of drinking with haste. So, some context: my father is a winemaker and we grew up in wine country. Starting to see how this ties in with drinking? My cousin was born in California as well and therefore has some connection, but when her mother died a decade ago, she moved to Alabama to live with her father. Growing up, my grandfather (now passed) told her that he would take her wine tasting in the Napa Valley for her 21st birthday. (Don’t get me started on the Napa vs Sonoma wine country feud, because to be honest, I don’t care. Drink whatever you like at the price you are willing to pay.) Anyway, back to the story: she wants to visit on her 21st birthday in the middle of June. During the same time that she wants to visit, the middle of June, the families are busy with their children finishing school and, in addition, we have company coming from Germany. While I see the potential for a great story—saying that you went wine tasting in California for your 21st birthday—I don’t think it will work out perfectly.

My suggestion, which of course no one will listen to, is to try wine first. The first time you try something should very rarely be at the best place for it in the world. Know what to expect. Get a recommended bottle of wine at your local grocery store and taste it. The wine does not have to be expensive; there are plenty of delicious wines for even $10. If you are feeling adventurous, taste some different varieties. Do you like red wine, white wine, rosé? Find out first. Then, when you go wine tasting, you can have a much more tailored experience. For example, I really like dry, fruity wines, but rarely like wines with a forward, earthy taste. So, why would I spend money flying across the country to taste wine that I don’t actually like? You don’t need it. Wait.

One factor that might be influencing my cousin’s desire for a rushed trip to Napa for her 21st birthday is a lack of delayed gratification. In the famous marshmallow experiment, young children were offered the choice between receiving one marshmallow immediately, or waiting a short period of time to receive two marshmallows. Those who were able to wait for the reward of two marshmallows were found to have better outcomes in life in terms of academic and professional success, as well as physical and mental health. While it may be tempting to want to rush into a fun and exciting experience like wine tasting in Napa, it might be worth considering the benefits of waiting for the right time and building up to the experience. This could lead to a more fulfilling and enjoyable trip in the long run. If she comes in the middle of June, she will be going wine tasting with my eighty-three year old grandmother. She can’t walk very far, so you will not be able to see the property, a great perk for first time tasters. In addition, her acid reflux prevents her from consuming the wines. So she would be going, in a sense go wine tasting on her own. Why not wait a month and go wine tasting with a wine maker. That way you can discuss the wines and the different descriptors you pick up in them. Just wait a little bit for the larger reward.